50 things you dont really need to know about me

this is harder than it seems. at first its hard to come up with 50, then it becomes hard to stop at 50. anyway, heres me in 50 lines:
1. i once got hit in the face with a shovel. it wasnt an accident.
2. i blow my nose in the shower...(and sometimes pee)
3. there are things about my childhood that i dont care to know and are probably preventing me from becoming an adult.
4. by the time i was 30 years old i had lived in exactly 30 different places of residence. ive stopped counting since then.
5. im smarter than you think i am, but not as smart as i think i am.
6. the same can be said for how funny i am.
7. i threw my brother through a sliding glass door when i was eight years old. he later told me tabasco sauce tastes like strawberries. touche.
8. i walked into a sliding glass door just days ago while text messaging. karma.
9. when he was 13 my brother moved away from me. i took it personally. i was 9, how was i supposed to know it wasnt about me?
10. when i turned 13 i moved to where he was.
11. i was involved in a drive-by shooting.
12. i got TB and had my appendix removed in china. not what i signed up for.
13. it took me 7 1/2 years to get through college and i graduated with a 2.9. ive never held a job that required my degree.
14. i took bowling and curling as part of my college curriculum. i aced them both. they dont count towards your GPA.
15. im often too lazy to eat.
16. im overqualified, underpaid and underappreciated -- and doing nothing about it.
17. im pretty sure i'll inherit my gradfather and fathers prostate.
18. basball takes over my life for about eight months of every year. i blame and thank my father for that.
19. for as long as i can remember ive tried to not be like my father. every day i discover another way that im exactly like him.
20. i could eat pizza every day.
21. i dont blame manny ramirez. he hated his job and tanked it. ive done that. i may do that tomorrow.
22. i want to be a father more than anything else in this life.
23. im sorry i dont keep in touch more.
24. i havent cried in years and i dont know why.
25. i watch reality tv -- to escape reality.
26. i have five tattoos and at one point or another in my life have had five different piercings.
27. i have manny ramirez's baseball card from when he was in high school and jacoby ellsbury's rookie card.
28. i marched in the macys thanksgiving day parade.
29. i rode my bike from iowa to maine with my father who was 67 years old at the time.
30. i am absolutely terrified of bats.
31. i havent finished a book in years.
32. i dropped out of college...twice.
33. ive eaten donkey penis. theres really not much to explain.
34. im very competitive and willing to prove it.
35. i do my own manscaping.
36. i worked at taco bell for one day.
37. i have more than a small addiction to doritos.
38. im allergic to tree nuts.
39. i was in a "rap band" during college.
40. i dated one of my college instructors. she gave me a B.
41. ive never lost anyone close to me. im not ready.
42. my mother is an amazing lady.
43. im too young to have back problems and too old to have pimples.
44. id sooner give up breating than give up coffee.
45. i think beer is a more sophisticated beverage than wine. beer drinkers on the other hand...
46. i have a copy of 'the catcher in the rye' in chinese; havent read that either.
47. im considering a career in sports betting.
48. ive had three stepfathers -- all named Bob.
49. i love shopping at Target.
50. ive got more skeletons than iParty.